ANGER MANAGEMENT by Ibrahim B. Syed, Ph. D.
PREVENTION OF ANGER ITS TREATMENT
1.Ibn Abbas narrates: Oh son of Khattab I swear by Allah that you don't give us enough and you don't judge among us justly. Omar became angry to the degree of thinking to hurt him. One of the Sahabah (Al Hur bin Kays) reminded Omar with Quran 7 :199.
“Take what is given freely (be easy in dealing with them and avoid causing them difficulty) enjoin what is good, and turn away from the ignorant” this man is one of the ignorant. Omar responded positively; he managed his anger and did not hurt the man.
2.“ And those who avoid the major sins and immoralities and when they are angry they forgive (Quran 42 :47)
" And lower your wing (show kindness) to the believers (Quran 15 :58) “(They are) humble toward the believers” (Quran 5 :54)
4. Anger is the sign of weakness not a sign of strength. The Prophet (S) said: “ Strong is not the one who wrestles others to the ground, but strong is the one who controls himself when angry”
5. “I am warning you of Zun which is thinking badly of others; Zun is the most unreliable form of interaction, don't follow each others shortcomings; don't spy on each other; don't compete with each other; don't envy each other; don't hate one another; don't plan evil to each other. And be true servants of Allah – brothers in faith”
6. “ And hasten to forgiveness from your lord and a garden (Paradise) as wide as the heavens and the earth prepared for the righteous” (Quran 3 :133)
“ Who spend (in the cause of Allah) during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people – and Allah loves the doers of good” (Quran 3 :134)
“ And pardon them and overlook (their misdeeds). Indeed Allah loves the doers of good” (Quran 5 :13)
7. Bad neighbors do not pardon / forgive.
Hadith “ Three awakir (evil ones)"
A leader who does not thank you if you do well and who does not forgive you if you make a mistake,
And bad neighbors who buries your good deeds and broadcast your bad ones,
And a woman who hurts you in your presence and cheats on you in your absence.
8. Mix with people and tolerate their hurts with patience.
“ The believer who mixes with people and tolerate their hurts is better than the believer who doesn't mix and does not tolerate”
9. Al Hassan said, “ If a person is able to control himself against the following four forces, Allah (SWT) will protect him from Shaytan:
Wishes / wants: trying always including haram
Fear: attempts to self defend in any way including the haram ways
Desire: examples are Zina (fornication and adultery) and stealing.
Anger: blood boiling to protect and / or take revenge.
Anger is expressed in aggressive words (hurting others) or aggressive deeds (killing, beating and other types of aggressive overt behavior)
1.Seek refuge in Allah (swt)
“ And if an evil suggestion comes to you from Shaytan, then seek refugee in Allah, He is hearing and knowing (Quran 7 : 200)
2.Do wudu (washing specific parts of your body with water) according to the tradition of the Prophet (S).
The Prophet (S) said, “ Anger from Shaytan; Shaytan from fire; fire is put out by water; so when angry do wudu”
3.Change body positions
“If one of you gets angry while standing he should sit. If he is still angry he should lie down”
To say this hadith in other words:
Lying down is better than sitting
Sitting is better than standing.
Standing is better than walking
Walking is better than Sa'y, which is somewhat between walking and running.
4. Cheek to the ground.
Since anger is a product of pride, the Prophet (S) said, “ whoever gets a little angry should stick his cheek to the ground”
5. Psycho-physical approach.
Diverting attention away from the cause of anger and participate in strenuous physical activity aiming at letting steam out and relaxing of muscles.
The Prophet (S) used this approach to manage the tension of the Sahabah on their way back from the battle of Bani Al Mustalq. Abdullah bin Obay – the head of the hypocrites said, “ If we return to Al Madinah, the more honored (for power) will surely expel there from the more humble” (Quran 63 :8)
The Sahabah became angry and the Prophet (S) ordered them to continue marching for two days. When the Sahabah took rest, they slept and forgot the anger.
6. When angry be quiet, don't speak, be silent. “ Teach, simplify, don't complicate and if you get angry be silent”.
7. Positive interpretation of events.
In the story of a tribe called “ Nose of the She – Camel” Hadrat Omar (RA) changed events by reinterpreting the story from negative to positive.
1. Jamal R. Rasheed. Understanding and Managing Anger. Muslim Journal , January 2, 2004, p.23 and p.29)
2. Samantha Sanchez Negm News: Latino Muslims (Reprinted from La Prensa - CA) Printed in La Prensa. A Publication of the Press-Enterprise Co. February 2001 http://www.orgsites.com/ny/latinodawah/_pgg5.php3
3. Dr. Mohamed Saleh. Anger Management Islamic Approaches.